Not in Kansas Anymore.... A Folkie Goes to Ozz (part 2)

dateline: 08/07/00

Introduced by Pantera's singer as "The Lord," Ozzy finally appeared with his own version of the Standard Metal Band. He made his grand entrance, swivelling around in a throne made of skeleton fingers, wearing a black t-shirt with the word "EVIL" in sequins. Plumes of flame erupted from skulls, but at 50-something, Ozzy looked chubby and could barely lift his arms over his head to get the audience clapping along. He couldn't quite manage the stalking stride either and more or less minced across the stage. With his table of throat lubricants and aerosols and his thick mascara, he reminded me more than anyone else of.... Liza Minelli. Or Mike Meyers hosting Coffee Talk in Long Island drag. He even reached out his arms at one point and cried "God Bless You All!" Mostly though, he spent his short set wielding a pair of mega-super-soakers, completely dousing everyone in the first 25 rows of seats. And when the huge dungeonesque Ozzfest logo started spraying water through a hole in each letter, no one was surprised - the tech crew had tested them out before the set started. And when Ozzy mounted a watercannon which rode up and down like a periscope, further soaking the fans for minutes at a time, you wondered whether this really should have been a ride at 666 Flags.

I leaned over to the well-dressed man in his late forties in the row in front of us who was chaparoning his two teenage sons and their friend - "Well, you made it." But even fans seemed relieved when Ozzy topped off a 9 song set with a single encore and let us out by 11pm. Outside, people streamed to their pickups, opened tailgates, lit grills, popped six packs, and put on their Metal CDs. Nothing like the real thing.

If you want a taste of the dark realm of metal, check out this fine fan page at black-sabbath.com.

Whatever floats your boat, get out and hear some live music.

Hugh Blumenfeld, Editor
hugh@balladtree.com